by Monica on December 8, 2009
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Snap at bedtime: Mom, these are your choices. You can give me a cookie now or you can wait and give it to me after you read my story.
Nicely played, dear, but um…no.
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by Monica on November 20, 2009
I knew it would happen. I just didn’t anticipate it happening at such a young age. One of my little peas has a broken heart. ALREADY.
~~~~~~~~~
Split pulled a fast one on us one day last week. He claimed to have a tummy ache and said he couldn’t go to school. Because we’d had sickies running amok in our family days before that, I believed him. I kept him home. And then his acting ability failed him.
Split (after woofing down 2 pancakes): Can I have a snack? Like a cookie or something, please?
Me: That’s probably not a good idea if you have a tummy ache.
Split: I don’t have a tummy ache….umm…I mean…uhhh.
Me: Oh, really? Huh. How about that? What are you doing here instead of school then?
Split (quickly turning on his signature charm): Well, I just love you and Grandma so much and I wanted to spend a little time with you.
Me: Sure. And no. No cookie, you little stinker.
So when he told me he felt bad the next morning, I didn’t fall for his act.
But then he cried the next morning and insisted he couldn’t go to school. We fought the battle and I won. He hugged me much longer and harder than usual when we got to the front of the drop-off line and he dragged his heels all the way into the building. I felt guilty for leaving him like that.
This went on for a few mornings until Snap spilled the beans.
Snap: Mommy, my brother doesn’t want to go to school because M doesn’t like him anymore.
Split (enraged by the breach of brotherly trust): Don’t say that!!!! Stop talking about that!!!!
We talked for a while and he cried for a while. I had no idea a 4-year-old could “love” that deeply and be hurt so badly.
And I really struggled with how to handle a parenting situation for which I was unprepared. I worked hard to tune out the voice inside that wanted to scream “Good grief! She’s clearly an idiot if she doesn’t like you! Why waste time on a loser like that?”
Yeah, I know that’s TOTALLY inappropriate. But really? How could you not love Split? I mean. Come. On.
And while he seems to have moved on now (in just a couple of days…gotta’ love the resilience of a young heart), I can’t seem to shake the dread I feel at the thought of the heartbreaks to come.
Will it ever be appropriate for me to point out how foolish someone must be to not like one of my precious ones? And if not (as I suspect you scrooges are going to vote), what do I say? I thought I had another 10 years to worry about this thing…apparently not. Help!
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by Monica on November 13, 2009
With Christmas quickly approaching, those obnoxious toy commercials are airing at an alarming rate. And the message being pounded into our consumerism-driven heads is “Buy this! Buy that!”
But you know what I’ve noticed? Our children don’t actually play with most of their toys. No, they (like most other kids, I suspect) are just as (if not more) content playing with the simple things around here.
Give the boys a bouncy ball and a back yard…they’re in heaven.
Or just give one of them a big lump of modeling clay (even homemade) and some plastic cookie cutters for tons of creative fun.
Goodness! Even plain old clothes pins and an empty gift box can be wildly entertaining!
I think we (collective “we”) teach our kids to want “stuff.” Hubby and I agreed the very first Christmas with the kids that we were not going to go crazy with the Christmas gift thing. We tell them they can only ask Santa for 3 things each. Mom and Dad usually give them a few other things, but Santa sticks to the 3 item rule. Why 3? Because the Biblical narrative describes 3 gifts brought to Baby Jesus and we’re trying to reinforce what we believe is the true meaning of the holiday.
Since the kids are getting old enough to better understand concepts like generosity and benevolence, we’re looking for new ways to put the focus in the right place. They are each filling a shoe box for Operation Christmas Child. They really do “get” that they are buying gifts for kids who may not have Christmas presents otherwise. They talk about the “shoebox boys and girls” and my heart swells with pride. Of course they still beg for every new toy they see at Target, so rest assured they’re completely normal kids. We’re not naive enough to think we’re turning them into mini-humanitarians a la Mother Teresa by doing these things. But we do hope to balance that natural desire to have more for themselves with a genuine desire to share with others.
We’re also talking about a radically different way to give gifts to the adults in our lives as well. It just makes little-to-no sense at all to go out and buy random things just for the sake of having a wrapped gift under the tree. More times than not, that wrapped gift isn’t something needed (or even really wanted) by the person to whom it’s given. We’re discussing the idea of doing our Christmas shopping at World Vision this year. Yep, we are honestly considering buying livestock in lieu of scarves and neckties.
So…don’t be surprised if your gift from our family is a card telling you that some third-world village is receiving 3 hens or a goat in your honor. Did you really want another picture frame or knick-knack? No? We didn’t think so. But those kids in Zimbabwe will be so grateful for milk and eggs.
What other ideas have you tried with your own families? How have you taught your children to give? Please share.
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