A really tough part of parenting is figuring out how to deal with the gray areas. And there are MANY of them. Take the issue of encouraging your children to realize their dreams, for example. Sometimes, it’s just not helpful. Sometimes it really is more loving to be honest. To squelch the dream. To underscore the reality.
Sound awful? Consider this.
When asked what he wants to be when he grows up, Split Pea will say “a basketball player.” Well…Daddy is a bit on the vertically-challenged side so this dream may not immediately seem attainable, but one just never knows. And I say, “That’s awesome, honey! I bet you’d be a great basketball player!” He’s proud. Self-esteem developed. All that stuff.
When the same question is posed, Snap Pea will grin and say “a basketball.” OK. Umm…that’s just not possible. Nope. Never gonna’ happen. I don’t care what specialized school or training camp we send the kid to. He is NEVER going to be a basketball. Becoming an inanimate object is not something I see in his future. So, here’s the conflict. Do I encourage him? “That’s awesome, honey! I bet you’d be a great basketball!” And then what? One day he comes home from school completely distraught because someone with half a brain pointed out the obvious? Now his dreams are dashed AND his friends think he’s a freak. What good have I done? No, I keep telling him “Sweetie…basketballs are pretty cool and all, but you can’t be a ball.” And then I hold him while he sucks his thumb for comfort.
I’ve read more parenting books, articles, blogs than I care to admit and have found NOTHING helpful on this subject. No one tells you what to do when your son wants to be a basketball. No one.
(photo by RAWKUS)
Possibly Related Posts:
- Gee Thanks, Kids
- Mangia! Mangia!
- Kindergarten Biology Lesson
- The View from Here
- Too Busy Playing to Blog
{ 4 comments }
