Awww...how sweet! You're back again! Hope you enjoy your visit with the Peapod Squad!
A really tough part of parenting is figuring out how to deal with the gray areas. And there are MANY of them. Take the issue of encouraging your children to realize their dreams, for example. Sometimes, it’s just not helpful. Sometimes it really is more loving to be honest. To squelch the dream. To underscore the reality.
Sound awful? Consider this.
When asked what he wants to be when he grows up, Split Pea will say “a basketball player.” Well…Daddy is a bit on the vertically-challenged side so this dream may not immediately seem attainable, but one just never knows. And I say, “That’s awesome, honey! I bet you’d be a great basketball player!” He’s proud. Self-esteem developed. All that stuff.
When the same question is posed, Snap Pea will grin and say “a basketball.” OK. Umm…that’s just not possible. Nope. Never gonna’ happen. I don’t care what specialized school or training camp we send the kid to. He is NEVER going to be a basketball. Becoming an inanimate object is not something I see in his future. So, here’s the conflict. Do I encourage him? “That’s awesome, honey! I bet you’d be a great basketball!” And then what? One day he comes home from school completely distraught because someone with half a brain pointed out the obvious? Now his dreams are dashed AND his friends think he’s a freak. What good have I done? No, I keep telling him “Sweetie…basketballs are pretty cool and all, but you can’t be a ball.” And then I hold him while he sucks his thumb for comfort.
I’ve read more parenting books, articles, blogs than I care to admit and have found NOTHING helpful on this subject. No one tells you what to do when your son wants to be a basketball. No one.
(photo by RAWKUS)
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Monica: ask him HOW he plans to accomplish that. I bet he has a fascinating plan, full of imagination. It’ll be a good exercise for him and fun for you. Have him draw pictures of himself as a basketball. You don’t have to tell him — he’ll figure it out. When my son was his age he wanted to work in an office, where his main activities were to be talking on the phone and stapling things.
oh, i’ll try that. should definitely be fun to see his self-portrait as a basketball. thanks for the tip!
Let us know how it works out.
BTW, great new design. Your peas are so darn cute, in real life and cartoon.
thanks. i was tired of the old look and wanted to move to wordpress anyway. i’ve designed stuff for other folks, so i decided to do my own this time. i was pretty pleased with how it turned out. the kids have already seen it and said, “we’re not babies like that anymore mom!” great. my blog design offends them.