Jon and Kate + 8…I’m going there.

Awww...how sweet! You're back again! Hope you enjoy your visit with the Peapod Squad!

It seems the popular thing these days is to blast the Gosselins. To blast Kate for being the mean wife with the hideous hairdo (ok, so the hairdo really is bad). To blast Jon for being the cheating husband. To blast the two of them for having misplaced priorities. And oddly enough, parents of multiples seem to be especially critical. I've been trying to figure that out.

Maybe it's because, if we're all really honest with ourselves, we'd admit that we've at times been a tiny bit jealous of the fame and fortune that came to the Gosselins. We've grown weary of being compared to them. We're sick of having every person who sees us out with our own multiples ask us if we "know" them. Some of us remember our own forum and email interactions with Jon back before their lives changed so much and felt somewhat abandoned by him when they became too busy to lend friendly support to the rest of us anymore. We've watched those children grow up with our own. We've uncomfortably seen our own marriages in theirs. And now…well…we're pretty nervous about what their struggles predict for us.

I recently received an email (that I'm sure went to other triplet families as well) letting me know about "an exciting opportunity" for triplet families to be on a new reality TV show. I quickly hit DELETE. Would it be cool to have a few moments of fame? Well, sure. And the money would be fantastic. But at what cost? I'll take obscurity and middle class angst over a family in ruins any day.

It's hard to keep boundaries in place. Even without the celebrity component, having high order multiples brings additional attention. People are understandably curious about us when we take the kids out and about. Since the very first time we ventured out with them, we've felt a bit like a carnival attraction. We get stopped for questions and comments almost every time we go out. We've been asked incredibly personal questions…about their conception, about my pregnancy, about their birth, about our financial situation. Perfect strangers have asked to touch or hold or photograph our children. It's flattering at times, but it's also very intrusive. We've heard everything from "Oh how blessed!" to "See? You play with fire and you get burned!" to "I would kill myself if I got stuck with triplets!" And the rude comments are difficult to shake…no matter how thick-skinned we try to be.

I often feel like we are a burden. Even at church, I've heard people say things like "We already had 15 kids in that class and then the triplets came in!" I know these folks love our children, but yes…when we arrive it's an additional 3 kids added to the mix. And while I know my parents absolutely adore our kids, I still feel horrible every time I have to leave them there for an extended period of time. I know. I really do. It's COMPLETELY exhausting to juggle 3 same-aged kids. Because of this, hubby and I don't get away much. We spend precious little time alone together. So yeah…I can see why the divorce rate for parents of multiples is reportedly 3 times higher than that of the general population. It's terrifying to see what's obviously happening to Jon and Kate because somewhere in the back of my mind I keep saying, "Will we end up like that?"

Am I sometimes mean to my husband? Yes. Am I a control freak? Absolutely. I'll not even try to deny it. In the moments of just trying to survive or to just get somewhere on time, I usually know the most efficient way to get something done and I don't often have the additional seconds/minutes required to sugarcoat my requests with lots of niceties. To an outsider, it would sound like I was barking orders. If cameras were following us all day and then that footage was being edited down to 30-minute episodes, we could look just as unloving as Jon and Kate sometimes do. But it would not be an accurate image of our relationship.

I feel horrible for them. It was painful to watch last night's episode on TLC. Jon seemed like he has already checked out (and he has obviously made some very irresponsible choices). Kate appeared to be so sad. Hearing Alexis tell her daddy that she misses him and hopes he does't leave again was heartbreaking. Those kids just watched their parents renew their wedding vows, for goodness' sake! They heard them say they were in this together forever. And now this. One day they are going to google their last name and read all kinds of hurtful things about their parents.

And the bottom line? All of the free vacations, huge houses, nice clothes and extravagent parties in the world won't heal that hurt.

Like I said, I'll take my obscurity. Definitely.

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