Nana and I went out shrubbery/flower shopping late this afternoon with the Peapod Squad. Now the first problem with this scenario is that they didn’t take full naps today. That’s always a primary ingredient in the recipe for disaster. The next problem is that we chose not to take their Choo-Choo Wagon or Runabout because they have been doing so very well with walking along next to me holding hands (all three of them link up like a chain…it’s positively darling if I do say so myself.) And the final factor in what turned into a nightmare for me is that their Daddy has been having to rehearse late every night in preparation for an upcoming concert performance…and they miss him and are tired of me.
So…that’s your background. We go in the store and immediately are met with a million "I want that!" cries because the store also sells Groovy Girls. Snap and Split (yeah, I know) are especially nuts about the "Ruby Girls," as they call them. I explain that we’re only passing through the store to head to the nursery area so we can pick out some pretty flowers for the yard.
My explanation went in 3 ears and out 3 others.
Please Mommy. I be good boy!
Yook! It’s a Ruby Girls pony! Yook Mommy!
I get that one. OK Mommy?
We drag them out to the garden area and walk around aimlessly pulling this flat-bed cart thingy. The boys are especially intrigued by this and decide it’s their responsibility to load the plants onto the cart. The only problem is that THEY are choosing the plants at this point. We end up with a cart full of scrawny leafy things (the ones they could actually lift) and have to go put them all back. Nana pretends to need their help hoisting the big gardenias onto the cart and they seem temporarily satisfied. At this point they have FINALLY stopped talking about the Groovy Girls they want.
But I know we still have to go back inside to pay. Ugh. We’re not out of the woods yet.
Amazingly enough, however, they all held hands and walked back into the store like angels…like they usually do when I take them out. I exhaled. Ahh…aren’t my kids sweet? If I can handle this with triplets, why on earth do some moms get all bent out of shape about taking 1 child out?
Yeah…pride cometh before the fall. Just keep reading. My fall’s a-comin’.
Since there are 3 of them and they are obviously triplets, we tend to draw a good bit of attention to ourselves in public anyway. There’s just no getting around it. This sweet lady walks over and asks the obvious questions.
Are they all yours? No…I stole 2 of them Yes.
Are they triplets? Yes.
Who is the oldest? (I’ll never understand why this is a big deal with multiples, but people ask me all the time.) She is…by 15 seconds.
Well, they are just beautiful and so well-behaved! Thank you.
Not even 30 seconds later…BOOM! The fall. They all went into complete toddler/preschooler meltdown. Nana was in line to pay and was, therefore, unavailable. I was in the middle of the breakable merchandise (of course) with 3 screaming, flailing around kids who were bent on getting Groovy Girls. Right. Then. And all eyes were on us. I wanted to run and hide but was determined NOT to have to buy a bunch of broken stuff, so I pressed on.
I grabbed Snap and Sweet with my left hand and grabbed Split with my right. I was trying to hang in the balance of gripping hard enough to avoid their escaping but not hard enough to break their fingers. And images of moms smacking their little kids around in the grocery store came flooding into my mind. You’ve seen those moms…they yank a flip-flop off one foot and start swatting away with it. I hate that. It always made me sooooo mad to see that. And here I was dragging my kids out of the store in a fit of rage. We aren’t a spanking family. I’m not saying anything negative about those of you who do use this kind of discipline. It’s just never made sense to me and we decided long ago that it wouldn’t be our thing. I gotta’ tell you, though, in that moment the thought did cross my mind. This guy was trying to help Nana load the plants into the back of my van while I was wrestling incredibly angry peas into their carseats. It was awful. Awful, I tell you.
They screamed like banshees all the way home. And then just as I pulled into our driveway I saw something in the rearview mirror flying from the liftgate area (where the plants were). This HUGE locust flew right past Snap’s head and landed centimeters from his face. OK…none of the kids are crazy for bugs but Snap is TERRIFIED of them. We had to pull over and chase out a common house fly once when we were driving home from an out-of-town family funeral because Snap was about to have convulsions every time he saw it. He HATES bugs. Did I mention how HUGE this thing was?!?! It was hideously ugly, too. No wonder the Pharaoh finally let the Children of Isreal go! I know it was only number 8 out of the 10 plagues on Egypt, but I’ll just bet those locusts wore him down. Anyway…I stopped the van and ran in the garage to fetch a broom while Nana freed Snap from his carseat. I managed to get the locust out before Split and Sweet could get too freaked out but all of them were crying about being "sca-yed."
And here’s where my bad mommy evening went from bad to worse. Snap was trembling. Pitiful. He asked me "Why bug do that Mommy? Why bug get me?" I sort of, kind of, led them to believe the bug may have been punishing them for their behavior at the store.
<<ducking to avoid the things being thrown my way>>
I know. Shame. Child psychologists would not be pleased. And I’m pretty sure I’ve just shifted Snap’s fear of bugs into overdrive. And then, of course, there’s the problem of inconsistency. Bugs do not appear only when kids are misbehaving. At some point, a spider will sit down beside her and frighten miss Sweet Pea away…even if she is being a precious little girl. And I’ll have some ‘splainin’ to do. But for now…umm.
And there was NO mention of Groovy Girls at bedtime. Nope. None. They only told me they’d be good next time. And Snap said, "And no more bugs get me."
Oh…bad mommy. Bad.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Your a saint compared to what I have said to my older son to make him behave..
GIIIRL!! i am NOT one to judge. you will get even more creative as they get older…TRUST me on that one.
Jordan was having a major issue with telling the truth for a while there…seriously if her lips were moving she was probably lying…like she doesn’t even think about it, we ask a question her automatic response is a lie. we got sick of it FAST. she is a horrible liar. most of the time she would finish her lie and immediatly say, “ok that wasn’t the truth” and go on to tell the truth instead. it was totally bizarre and we could not figure out where this behavior was coming from but we wanted to nip it in the bud. and FAST!
so Paul and i had a casual conversation infront of her. he said, “so i saw this box on line today. you put your hand in it and are asked a question and if you lie you get an electric shock.” i respond, “wow that sounds like something we might need to order if Jordan keeps lying to us.” and Paul said, “oh yea i already ordered it, it should be here tomorrow” i say, “SWEET”. and we change the subject as Jordan leaves the room.
about 10 minutes later Jordan comes in and says, “umm you guys i have been thinking about it and i am going to try really hard to make better choices and not lie anymore. i am going to stop and think about my answer before i say anything.” Paul says, “great idea, i am looking forward to that.” and i say, “i am proud of you.”
she starts to walk out of the room but stops and turns around to add, “we won’t be needing any shocky boxes, OK?” and Paul says, “Ok we won’t open it unless we need it.”
there is a box that came in the mail a few days later filled with some stuff Paul ordered on Ebay…he took the contents out, put a big rock in it, taped it shut and left it on a shelf in the laundry room. Jordan asked what it was, Paul responded, “i am hoping we are not going to have to open it to find out” Jordan said, “yea me too”
so far so good.
so.
you. are. welcome.
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