1051476_74068952For days now I’ve seen these no makeup selfies posted on social media accounts. “Post a no makeup selfie for breast cancer awareness” they say. And kind-hearted women who desperately want to do SOMETHING to help jump on the bandwagon. So they wash the layers of pretty paint off and post a picture of themselves feeling somewhat vulnerable. And I suppose there really is a tiny degree of bravery in that, because sadly our society doesn’t fawn over our plain-faced selves.

Now before I say anything else, I want to be completely clear. The women I’ve seen posting these no makeup selfies are amazingly compassionate and well-meaning friends. They are in no way trying to disrespect any cancer survivors. No way. Please hear me. I am not condemning or criticizing their intentions.

But I saw this very different perspective. And it made me think. Because that’s what new perspectives should do.

And besides this painful realization that our no makeup selfies could actually be causing pain for the very victims we seek to honor, I keep thinking that all of this is futile if nothing else is done. How is anyone helped by my posting a picture of myself…makeup or no makeup? THEY AREN’T. Plain and simple.

So how about instead of posting these selfies, we DO something. We remind our girlfriends to do regular self-examinations. We encourage them to get a mammogram. We tell a terrified friend that we will go with her to the appointment. We hold her hand and pray while she waits for results. We drive a friend to his chemo appointment. We read a book to him while he waits for the toxic meds to flow through the tubes. We donate money to a cancer research foundation. We give our time to a local pediatric cancer support group.

There are real ways to help.

Also…you are all beautiful. Makeup or no makeup.


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Same but Different

by Monica on April 5, 2013

People are always asking me if the triplets are a lot alike. Well, yes, as much so as any siblings would be. And obviously, Split and Snap look just alike. But they each have their own personalities, their own ways of looking at and processing the world around them, their own ways of responding to one another and the rest of us.

Today I was watching them playing with Legos, and I was immediately intrigued by the differences in how they play with these brightly-colored little building blocks.

Split is very meticulous with his. He’s all about the process. It can’t just look like a house. It has to be built with the precision he’s worked out in his mind. He barely notices anyone else around him while he’s at work.

split 3

split lego 2

Snap is about the finished product…the “tada” moment. He is bothered by someone watching him work, prefers to work alone without distractions, and delights in showing off his end result. He loves the themed sets most of all and wants them to look like the pictures on the box.  If they’ve got wheels…well then all the better!

snap lego

snap lego 2

Sweet Pea doesn’t really care about the realism of what she builds. She’s about the colors. The patterns. The sorting. And I love watching her dig for the pretty colors in her big pile of blocks. She can spend forever putting them in color-coded piles, stacking them in color-coded towers, lining up patterns of beautifully contrasting hues.

sweet lego

sweet lego 2

And Hansel just wants them to hurry up and get tired of the Legos, so he can get off the couch and play with them.


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I Know it Isn’t Normal to be Like This

January 21, 2013

I know it isn’t normal to be this sad about my kids getting older. I absolutely know it’s not. But what I don’t know is how to turn it off. I’m a mess. Every single year it happens, and I’m overwhelmed by the emotions because I don’t know what to do with them. I try […]

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One Step at a Time

January 15, 2013

I don’t cry in front of others. Not if I can help it. I’m not the kind to sob at sappy movies either. So I really was caught off guard by the giant lump in my throat that kept threatening to make my tears flow during Sunday’s Hot Chocolate 5K/15K in Atlanta. It was my […]

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Between Merry and Melancholy

December 26, 2012

These last December days are always bittersweet for me. The excitement of Advent, the anticipation of the joy of Christmas, a natural boost heightened by the adrenaline rush of so many tasks and obligations…it fades quickly. Even the few days right after Christmas are perfect. The glowing lights on the tree and the pure happiness […]

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